if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
