I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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