I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
