Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
