I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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