they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
