i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
