He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.