He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.