it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?