I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
