i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You left your phone here
Wait...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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