can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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