What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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