Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
