I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It's just like the Real World with babies
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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