His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
