Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
