i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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