What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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