in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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