yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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