make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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