we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
