Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize