When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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