and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
