i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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