WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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