I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We had sex on a dog bed..
The struggles of a small town man whore
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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