Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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