Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!