Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.