My cat gives me a boner
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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