She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up