Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?