There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him