I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.