U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know