Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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