My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
