Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
