somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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