my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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