he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
