he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
