guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize