RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
