I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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