glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Randomize
