I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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