he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My feet surprised me
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