Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
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Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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