Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
