i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
