dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
