Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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