i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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