Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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