This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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