we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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