Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
